Friendship goals: 6 ways to support your friend during a bad patch

We've all had to watch our friends endure difficult times. Whether it's due to a family bereavement, relationship issue, work concern or any other myriad of problems one might encounter, seeing your friend flounder is never easy.

As friends, we often find ourselves considering the role we might play in their happiness, and while we want to do our utmost to support them, it can be difficult to gauge how far we should go to pull them out of their slump.

Most things are a learning process and most people need to establish their own coping mechanisms in certain situations, so who are we to bulldoze in with countless 'remedies' or solutions' they may not even want?

There are, however, ways to support your friend during a bad patch without encroaching too much, and here are just six.

Be patient

Some people are less likely than others to talk about their problems, but that doesn't meant they don't want to.

Whether it's fear of judgement, concern over an inability to properly articulate themselves or a reluctance to disclose too much, your friend may need more time than others to open up.

Assure her that there is no pressure on her to open up, but that you will be there for her when she decides to share her concerns.

Acknowledge that it's hard to discuss some issues, and remind her that she can tell you as little or as much as she'd like, but your main goal is to help.

Be present

If you have a friend who trusts you enough to reveal the extent of their worries, then you better make it your business to be present.

Scrolling through your phone while she voices her concerns or trying to change the subject when the topic gets too heavy is hugely disrespectful, and while you might find it difficult to see your friend in distress, your role is to support her, not shy away from her. 

Be inquisitive

Checking in on your friend regularly and asking after her wellbeing is so important if you have a mate going through a hard time.

Knowing that someone is thinking of you is incredibly heartening when you're struggling, so by sending that quick text or leaving that funny voice message you are lifting your friend's spirits in ways you might not even realise.

And when it comes to face-to-face exchanges; don't leave it up to her to mention her current situation, ask how she's doing, tell her you're more than happy to listen, but there's no pressure either way.

Distract her

We've all experienced times when we've talked ourselves in circles with a friend over a concern we're having, and ultimately got to the point where we needed something – anything – to distract us.

Choose your time to distract her wisely, because you don't want to be seen as insensitive. In other words, don't decided to distract her when she's in the middle of pouring her heart out, but instead choose an afternoon where you're going to take her mind off her worries with a fun activity.

Gather together flour, sugar, eggs, Avonmore Super Milk, butter and chocolate chips, and arrive at her door unannounced for an afternoon of baking with her bestie.

Draw on past memories

It's likely you may have navigated a similar struggle of your own at some point, and can draw on your own experience to help your friend.

While this is undoubtedly a positive in your eyes, it's important to bide your time when it comes to doling out advice.

When she's in the height of her upset, she may not be able to see the parallels between your past situation and her current one, so ask her if she'd like to hear what you did when you faced similar struggles.

And don't be offended if she initially brushes off your advice, sometimes a little perspective is all she needs, and that will come.

Decide on some time-off

Look, we all know that being supportive is the cardinal rule of friendship. but that should never be to your own detriment.

You can't help your friend if you're emotionally drained and carrying the weight of her problems on your shoulders all the time, so allow yourself some time-off by dedicating yourself to me-time every couple of days.

Needing to recharge doesn't make you a bad friend, but simply indicates that you know the importance of your own mental strength.